I know it’s been over a month since posting. I think those who know me know that it’s been a difficult month since my mother’s death. I hope I can be forgiven.

Since the funeral and other proceedings much of life has returned to some of its normal form. I’m still quite very busy with work and consulting, being a father and a husband, and watching FSU stagger through another season. There has been the added effort of my mother’s estate and the frequent tosses of emotion from one spectrum to another. Most days go by with only a little thought of mom. Others take forever to muddle through just one memory. I guess that’s the grieving process.

I have stayed abreast of the news of other blogging compatriots and their writing continues to inspire me to continue on this journalistic path of my own. It’s funny to watch life go by through the words of others. You see kids grow up and careers move forward. In short, the drumbeat of life keeps hum-drum hum-drum hum-drum-drumming along.

For those who feel stuck sometimes, here’s what how I’ve managed to distract myself from the mortally mundane:

  • Play golf (or tennis, running, etc) – Individual sports and the nervous, competitive energy that fuel them help to remind us that sometimes life isn’t a team sport
  • Reconnect with family and friends
  • Work. Work. Work.
  • Change all those passwords you use. It’s good practice and takes a lot of time to complete.
  • Avoid TV and the Net. Both may seem like perfectly good distractions but both seriously put you in the here and now — something that isn’t necessarily good when you’re trying to get out of the here and now.
  • Imagine your retirement.
  • Imagine your own death — in a good way, of course.
  • Inventory your house. 99.9% of what you own has little value so what’s the point of accumulating more. Try to find items that mean something to you. Everything else can be donated to provide meaning (if that is what it brings them) to someone else.
  • Get over your roles. You don’t have to just identify yourself as an employee, father, husband, son, brother, etc. You are other things beyond those that are primarily self-evident.
  • Sleep more. The curative properties of sleep are amazing.
  • Let others know what’s going on inside your head. Talking it out is sometimes a lot easier than thinking it out.
  • Shrug your shoulders about the things you can’t control like the starting QB for FSU, how Gruden should be fired, and what in the hell can be done about the BCS.
  • Watch the Red Sox win 3 straight to take the ALCS and 4 straight to win another World Series. Baseball has a slow, rhythmic pace that helps to settle the anxious soul even when you think there’s no hope.
  • Cook less and eat out more. Don’t let food become a comfort but a convenience. You’ll eat less and have a lot less to clean. Well, it’s worked for me that way at least.
  • Finally, don’t force yourself to laugh. If you don’t feel like smiling or laughing it’s not your fault. Deal with something real in the best way you know how to at that very moment. If it means walking away then walk away. If it means not laughing then don’t laugh. Being true to your current emotional makeup is the easiest way to avoid denial, anger, and all the other crappy emotions we try to suppress to get through the grieving process. Howver – and this is important – try not to leave a wake. You have a right to be left alone and to feel what you feel but you have no right to upset any of the other boats around you.

Well, that’s enough for today. I can’t promise that I’m back on track. Christmas is coming and that means the usual retail hell that is the gift-giving holiday season and the lack of time and opportunity it provides for thinking and writing.

Fret not. I’m still here.